This feed contains pages in the "humour" category.

Posted Thu 31 Aug 2006 01:49:19 AM UTC Tags: tags/humour

Posted Tue 11 Oct 2005 04:01:48 PM UTC Tags: tags/humour

So, a kid walks into the kitchen, wanting to scrounge about for a snack. She walks over to the fridge and opens it up, glancing through the shelves. What's this? Hmm, the apples aren't in the drawer like usual, they're on a shelf in the door.

"Mother, you have put the apples in a non-standard location!" she says. "This is in violation of FHS, the FOOD HIERARCHY STANDARD! How could you!?"

Rubbing off?

Posted Sun 31 Jul 2005 10:43:31 PM UTC Tags: tags/humour

I think that I must exude violence in some unknown fashion. Whenever I wear the following shirt:

Image: Hate Free Zone public, I seem to get quite a few odd looks, as well as "what does your shirt say?" Maybe it is too hippy-ish for an era after the 70s. I was, however, in a bowling alley with lots of bandies.

Just don't tell 'em about the hatchet in the top drawer of my dresser, or the Viking jokes...

Posted Fri 29 Jul 2005 07:37:37 PM UTC Tags: tags/humour

So somehow tonight I ended up at a Harry Potter countdown party at a local Wegmans. I'm not sure why, but I did. It involved two friends, a phone, and a car. Otherwise there's no way I would have ended up in a supermarket at 10:30 PM surrounded by excited pre-teens wearing wizard hats.

Don't get me wrong, I think Harry Potter books are very entertaining most of the time. I'm just not that much of a fangirl. However, opportunities to be weird and scare people (especially small children) are usually not turned down.

And, y'know, there were other benefits:

Party Benefits

Yes, that is a disproportionate red gummy-mouse in that cream/chocolate pie. Minorly disturbing if you didn't know it was there. The pies were swiped from the pie-eating contest while no one was looking. Looks strange when eating them while walking down the aisle of a grocery store looking for where they were selling the non-pre-paid books.

I'm not sure that I had money, and no, I did not buy one of the books. Heck, I can wait till my mother buys it for my little sister fine and dandy. I don't need to own it until I leave the house and it's in paperback. Hopefully nobody will tell me what happens.

Posted Sat 16 Jul 2005 02:42:55 AM UTC Tags: tags/humour

There's this church that lies along my walk-home route, which has a sign outside it that today read "Not enough memory?" Good lord, I wish I had had a camera.

(At least I wasn't dreaming about matrices again.)

Posted Tue 24 May 2005 02:59:32 PM UTC Tags: tags/humour

Gotta love the rigours of orthodontistry.


I'm over the "rant and fume" stage of the development and have passed on to laughing and joking about it. Smile, anyone?

Posted Sat 05 Mar 2005 01:38:11 PM UTC Tags: tags/humour

The first rule of the road is that you have to stay in your lane. Always stay to the right, for best traffic flow. And yet, there are some people that insist on moving the wrong way on the wrong side--or even worse, having a hall posse that stretches across the entire hallway. Such maneuvers can cause utter chaos.

Now of course, there are some special rules for when you are in a hurry. Like it or not, there are people who just don't walk. For some reason, moving through the halls is equivalent to a stroll in the park. Fortunately, there are several methods to overcome this:

  1. The "Bob and Weave" method, otherwise known as "Like Sam Lieu." The goal here is to move as fast as possible without damaging anybody else, by utilizing the 5 Ds: duck, dodge, dive, drill, and drive. Collisions may occur on occasion, and dirty looks are not uncommon.

  2. The "Bull" method. This involves using the largest person in your hall posse to bull their way through the crowd, with you in his or her wake. Prone to receive more dirty looks and less laughter than choice #1.

While method #1 is often helpful for maneuvering moderately-crowded halls, #2 is the method of choice for crammed intersections, such as the 3-way junction before Cafeteria 1. This is the greatest problem before lunch periods; unfortunately, though relief was promised with the opening of the new A-wing hall, progress is yet to be seen in the traffic tangle.

With either method, just make sure to look red-faced and sweaty when bursting in the door of your next class. Maybe your teacher will take pity and not mark you as tardy.

Posted Fri 11 Feb 2005 04:59:18 PM UTC Tags: tags/humour