The first rule of the road is that you have to stay in your lane. Always stay to the right, for best traffic flow. And yet, there are some people that insist on moving the wrong way on the wrong side--or even worse, having a hall posse that stretches across the entire hallway. Such maneuvers can cause utter chaos.

Now of course, there are some special rules for when you are in a hurry. Like it or not, there are people who just don't walk. For some reason, moving through the halls is equivalent to a stroll in the park. Fortunately, there are several methods to overcome this:

  1. The "Bob and Weave" method, otherwise known as "Like Sam Lieu." The goal here is to move as fast as possible without damaging anybody else, by utilizing the 5 Ds: duck, dodge, dive, drill, and drive. Collisions may occur on occasion, and dirty looks are not uncommon.

  2. The "Bull" method. This involves using the largest person in your hall posse to bull their way through the crowd, with you in his or her wake. Prone to receive more dirty looks and less laughter than choice #1.

While method #1 is often helpful for maneuvering moderately-crowded halls, #2 is the method of choice for crammed intersections, such as the 3-way junction before Cafeteria 1. This is the greatest problem before lunch periods; unfortunately, though relief was promised with the opening of the new A-wing hall, progress is yet to be seen in the traffic tangle.

With either method, just make sure to look red-faced and sweaty when bursting in the door of your next class. Maybe your teacher will take pity and not mark you as tardy.